all of the remembering

I find myself desperately trying to remember it all. To breathe in the smells. To run my fingers through the golden hair that someday might turn a different shade. To focus on the curled toes, the dimples, the scrunched nose. The sound of the squeals, giggles and screeches. I want to remember the funny way […]

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a glimpse at hope

“That is how it goes with hope. It is not tidy, staying in its own little corner.

No, it shows up and weaves itself around all of the things that already exist, with no clear distinction between what is only longed for and what is actually to come.

And no matter our knowledge of how delicate and fragile it is, or how quickly the stalk appears to grow frail and wither before us, it is impossible to extract its roots –even as we see it become threatened and damaged beyond repair.

That’s it. That’s all it takes. Just that tiny seed of hope, and she is created.

The mother.

I used to think it took more than that. Maybe a certain week of pregnancy reached or the eventual child she holds that marked her creation.

But it’s not.

It is just hope. It is just that rooted dream that never leaves her heart.”

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A letter to my childless friends–

I know that this is not a version of me that you know. I know that you are used to me jumping in the car and catching a spur-of-the-moment movie. I know that we can usually catch lunch together throughout the week, and for that entire hour you have my undivided attention. I know that […]

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